So to write a tour diary, detailing the goings-on and hijinks, as well as the endless hours in the tour van, seems sure to work against any attempt to abide by this statement.

However, as tours are so much fun, the desire to tell somebody exactly how much fun you're having grows exponentially as the kilometres fly underneath the tour van wheels.

So, without naming names in order not to accidentally (albeit humorously) implicate the innocent, let me attempt to give a brief rundown of the tour so far. We are now heading into the last week of the tour, which sees us playing our last show at that grand old dame of the valley, The Globe on Friday.

But how did we get here? Well, it all started four weeks ago, when we started rehearsals, and when it was time for our first show in Armidale, we were a tight, but simultaneously gloriously loose rock band.

The tour rolled on through NSW, then to Sydney, Canberra, and then on to Melbourne where we had the best gig of the tour so far, from what we can all remember. Accounts are different from everyone as to what happened that night, but we seem to all agree that we had a good time. One day forensic science may be able to accurately re-tell events for us, but until then we only have our shonky hand-held camera-esque memories to rely on.

Now as I write this, we are in Adelaide, and preparing for a show tonight. Although I should say general preparation for a show does tend to involve a quick look in the mirror to check for anything that may be amiss, a quick swig of something nice and then on stage we stroll.

I dare say it shall be much the same in Brisbane, although the prospect of a hometown show always makes the stakes a little higher, and will no doubt inspire us all to play a spectacularly fitting final show. Just remember: what goes on at the after party, stays at the after party.

Catch Chris Pickering at Club Envy, Sunshine Coast Dec 2, The Globe Dec 3.