1. Iron Man. Chosen initially for his super human strength to assist with loading in, Stark would also provide cutting edge tech knowledge that could be utilised in amp repairs/ maintenance etc. His high levels of self-confidence would also translate well on stage.

2. Sherlock Holmes. Nancy Vandal have a poor record in mystery solving, and Holmes would be a major asset in this field. Riddles such as "where is Fox's jacket?" and "what key is this song in?" would quickly be untangled by the ace sleuth.

3. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Many a time has the lack of ability to perform Jedi mind tricks hampered NV's attempts to become a powerful player on the world music stage. From negotiating riders, to avoiding police fines for having feet sticking out of the van, NV see the ability to manipulate the thoughts of authority figures as an invaluable contributor.

4. Jason Voorhees. Making hilarious jokes while on stage is a key plank of the NV roadshow, but what happens when a punter thinks they’re being made fun of and wants to punch a band member in the head as a result? This perennial problem would be solved with the addition of Jason to our security staff, and we predict his violent behaviour would cut down unwanted crowd shenanigans by upwards of 50 percent.

5. Withnail from ‘Withnail And I’. We just want to hang out with him. He could be tour manager.

Nancy Vandal play the Miami Shark Bar Saturday November 9.